How Does One Deal With Loss?

A little over a week ago I got a text message from my Counselor/therapist that her back was in too much pain so she had to cancel our appointment. I thought nothing of it, except that I hoped her back would feel better soon. The weekend passed as usual, arriving to Monday. The day went by as normal (or as close to normal as my life permits). Tuesday came and I still heard nothing from her about rescheduling my appointment. I decided that she was probably busy and would call soon. The next day went by like usual, and I went to get in my mother’s car and immediately knew something was wrong. She gets this motherly face that says she has something to say that I would probably prefer not to heart.

“Kay is dead. She died Monday.”

I was shocked. Then I was angry. And then…sad. It came out of the blue and I still don’t know the cause of death…and I probably will never know. I had seen her on and off for 6 years. She was like a grandmother to me. I was angry because I needed her. Then realized how selfish I was being. I went to the calling hours, met her daughters, imparted a gift and cried. I thought I got it out of my system, but tonight it really got to me. I’ve felt so crazy and unstable lately. I know I have friends who would be more than willing to support me, but I’ve always had trouble asking for help. I’m worried they would think I’m crazy if they knew some of the things going through my mind.

The deities I would approach are Osiris and Ma’at. It Kay had been a Kemetic Pagan, and weighed her heart to see if it was the same as a feather, I think she would have passed. And from a Druid point of view, the Celts did not fear death. They believed in reincarnation. They were fierce warriors because they did not fear death. So perhaps Kay will reincarnate. Or she passed into Heaven as according to her beliefs. Though personally, I think she would volunteer  for another life on Earth. She has the soul of a Light Worker and we need them in this world.

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About Siofra |Nathifa|

A Druid and a Kemetic Pagan. I have studied Celtic Traditions, European Shamanism, the Fairy Faith, Native American Traditions, Wicca, Witchcraft and have explored New Age beliefs. I guess you could say I'm eclectic, but right now my focus is on Druidry and Kemetic Traditions. I am by no means, an expert in any of these interests. I am also a Bard in training.
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